Home Is Where The Hatred Is...

A junkie walking through the twilight
I'm on my way home
I left three days ago, but noone seems to know i'm gone
Home is where the hatred is
Home is filled with pain and it,
might not be such a bad idea if i never, never went home again

stand as far away from me as you can and ask me why
hang on to your rosary beads
close your eyes to watch me die
you keep saying, kick it, quit it, kick it, quit it
God, but did you ever try
to turn your sick soul inside out
so that the world, so that the world
can watch you die

home is where i live inside my white powder dreams
home was once an empty vacuum that's filled now with my silent screams
home is where the needle marks
try to heal my broken heart
and it might not be such a bad idea if i never, if i never went home again
home again
home again
home again
kick it, quit it
kick it, quit it
kick it, quit it
kick it, can't go home again

--Gil Scot Herron from "Home Is Where The Hatred Is"

They say home is where hate is
But Where does love lie?
Because looking in your eyes all I saw was love cry
Listening to your voice I only heard love lie
So now I wonder was this home full of love or a feeble try?
Love was supposed to give me wings so that I may fly...
Instead, wings of wax melted as I tried to kiss the sky...
Deceit became a way for me to make it through the day...
And when it gave way to pain, it nearly drove me insane...
Nights marked with nothing more than dreams of unseen measurements...
Vainglorious thinking that my circumstances were heaven sent...
Until I realized I was slow dancing with the devil and...
Destiny was nothing more than my own sense of settlement...
Tell me when this gets too familiar...
So I'm looking in the mirror...
Wondering if another day will show me something clearer...
I listen to "Daykeeper" and think of someone to love me...
Keep my days from being filled with pain and bring beauty to nights so ugly...
Trying to make myself T-R-U-S-T He...
That gave me life...
Yet I blamed him for nothing more than my strife...
Leaving all else I had to fate...
Now I work twice as hard simply to save face...
A forgotten son of chance...
A student of lost opportunity...
I've been bludgeoned by all that these streets have to offer...
So tell me, what else can you do to me?
I'm packing my bags now...
One foot out the door...
My mind far away...
My soul longs to break free...
Yet my heart begs me to stay...
Home...
Is a fond memory of someone else's personal advancement...
An associates big break...
And a friend to be pitied for missed chances...
To realize a potential so great that was stifled by those who claim that love lives here...
So as a testament to a forgotten childhood, an adolescence full of stress, and a manchild in the midst of convalescence...
I refuse to shed a tear...
This is the beginning...
Maybe home is an ending...
Maybe the few beams of hope that I had were bending...around me...
Maybe the few droplets of passion that soothed my soul...now drown me...

So tell me...
If home was all you had...
And it rejected you...
Would you be there...
Or allow it to be the dried up dream deferred...
Blowing away in the winds of a life ultimately deterred...