The Black Male Psyche Riddled with Self-Hatred...(Part 1)

Being a Black Man is tough. Anyone with an ounce of knowledge, understanding, and insight knows that or can see that. We are beat down en masse by society, sytematic segregation, laws slanted toward us, and various other factors that make living with a Y-Chromosome and Darkened Skin akin to fighting a war every day.

One thing that has kept the Black Man sane has been the black woman. She has been both mother and father when the black male was unable to take his role. She has raised numerous black males. She has been the backbone of the family in trying times. She's "stood in the gap" and prayed for the favor of almighty in hours of need. She has been a comforting shoulder to cry on, albeit in the dark. She has been that slap in the face when brothers needed a reality check. She is motivator. She is Wife. She is Helpmate. She is Financial Planner. She is Mother. She is Bold. She is Strong. She is Queen of Civilization...

From the Project Dwelling Single Mother to the Penthouse Residing Yuppie, The Black Woman is as versatile as they come.

With the black woman being so much of what all men want and even more of what all men need, why then do many of us as black men choose to degrade them and hate them?

I write that last sentence as both a hypocrite and a man conscious of what I love about black women. I have referred to women as "bitch" before...I have done some less than noble things to my sisters over the years. However, I have apologized and atoned for them. I am not talking about the guy who has a rough past (or present) and sometimes has a bad dealing or two with our sisters. I wanna focus on a specific genre of brothers. The educated, upwardly mobile, seemingly intelligent brother who has a good job, an advanced degree, and is as financially stable as he can be at that point in life.

Believe it or not, many of these brothers have a sort of disdain for sisters that could be viewed as a hatred. They ignore black women. They degrade them. They decry them as ghetto, combative, unrelenting, unaffectionate, unsubmissive, uneducated, and unattractive. Forgetting all the while that they were brought into this world by a ghetto, combative, unrelenting, unaffectionate, unsubmissive, uneducated, and unattractive BLACK WOMAN. That their grandmother was a BLACK WOMAN. It's ultimately a form of self hatred.

In Psychology there is a concept called "projection." This ultimately means that you project your insecurities and perceived shortcomings on those closest to you or the object of your unattainable desire in some cases. Who is closer to you as a Black Man than the woman who brought you into this world? Also, for a successful man, rejection is the ultimate blow to the ego. Who better to hate than those who may have rejected you in life?

Also, another root of this sort of hatred of black women by both fairly and immensely successful Black Men is their constant need to prove themselves. They want to make the statement, "Hey, I'm just like you guy. I am NOT one of those white t-shirt wearing, Jean sagging affirmative action cases. I got here on my own merits and by my own intelligence and their ain't NOTHING different about me." For all intensive purposes, this may be completely and utterly TRUE to the fullest extent. (Minus all of the self-hatred and jargon) As a result, these black men do certain assmilationist things to go to the extreme of proving that they are not like those "black guys." They wear certain clothes, join certain fraternities (*sigh*) , talk a certain way, act a certain way, and do certain customs associated with "Eurocentric culture." (Point, there is a difference from Eurocentric Culture and Professionalism. Don't get it twisted.) They go so far as to see black women as only objects of sexual prowess and only good for the occasional tryst than wife, mother, confidant, and companion.

Is there any hope for this brother? Probably not. Let's see how he feels in 20 years though when the current crop of sisters in upwardly mobile positions start to take over the country. These sisters often outnumber brothers 3 to 1 and are typically more motivated and driven to succeed. Then I guess I'll be writing another one of these on the sisters huh? I've already seen some out there that fit the mold....in fact I'm looking at one right now.