Post Thanksgiving Thoughts from SE7EN...

The world I know
Is a world much too slow
(If you) Don't move fast enough...keep your head low

-Esthero on the song "Country Livin'"

First of All...I love that song.

Secondly, this is going to be a little different from some of my previous posts of prose...this one is me getting back to the original roots of this blog. That is, my candid thoughts and transparency...in terms of what I think, and essentially, how I think.

Now...On to the blogging...

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I'm thankful for the God Given gift of true friendship. It occasionally takes the world to crumble around you to see who is exactly down for you and who is there when it's convenient. What I've realized is that I'm truly loved by a few people in this world. I thank God for their love, their kind words, their understanding, their companionship, the smiles they bring to my face and the joy they bring to my life. Dealing with some of the things that I've had to handle over the past 2 or 3 years...I honestly should, and could have been many times, completely and utterly destitute and probably insane.

Sometimes...I, like many people, go through things in my life that tend to require a lot of thought and introspection. Occasionally, as has been the case for the past couple of months...even years for some things, these matters require a VAST amount of time and thought. In these times...I tend to become very introverted and anti-social. You may see me...but I don't make phone calls, I may not return text messages, and I'm not as connected as I would normally be. Many people understand that...those are my true friends. Those who choose to simply...brush me aside...just don't understand me. That's not a bad thing...I'm failry complicated and hard to understand at times...My introspection and closed disposition does not mean that I don't care about you or love you. It's just how I deal with things. All I ask for is time and understanding...not a pound of flesh or an expectation of empathy. Some of the things I've been through you can't empathize with...you've never been there.

The loss of people close to me. The violence that surrounded me at one point. The anger I've harbored. The destructive tendencies I embraced as a result. The lies. The deceit. The setbacks. The trials. The tribulations. All have served to make me a stronger man...

I found that God had a few guardian angels watching out for me from time to time. Their prayers lifted me to his hands when I was too broken, hurt, and (more often than not) ashamed to pray for myself.

It's funny that throughout it all...the same people who I knew were down for me from day one STAYED DOWN for me...some people...just disappeared...

The test of true friendship is not measured in laughs, smiles, and enjoyment in times of jubilation, but rather in times of tribulation. Can you find yourself next to me as I'm falling...smiling and trying to make me do such...or would you rather watch me fall?

Some people enjoy watching train wrecks in slow motion...others...try to save the train by helping it switch tracks....thank God for great passengers who wake the conductor up when he falls asleep at the wheel.

So, for those that have helped me....I thank you...whether it was a kind text message, a good laugh, a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on...I truly am thankful.

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Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yey
Why, why, why, why, why, why, why
Why, Why, heh
They've got so much things to say right now
They've got so much things to say
They've got so much things to say right now
They've got so much things to say
I'll never forget no way, how they crucified Jesus Christ
I'll never forget no way, how they sold Marcus Garvey for rice
I'll never forget no way, how they turned their back on Paul Bogle
So don't you forget no way...
Who you are, and where you stand in the struggle
They've got so much things to say right now
They've got so much things to say
They've got so very many things, to say right now
They've got so much things to say
I'n'I nah come to fight flesh and blood
But spiritual wickedness in high and low places
And though you fight me down
I'll stand firm, and give Jah all the thanks and praises
I don't expect to be justified, by these laws of men
Though the we can find me guilty, Jah will proove my innocency
'cause when the rain falls, it don't, fall on one man's house top
Remember that
See when this rain falls, it don't, fall on one man's house top
They've got so much things to say right now
They've got so much, so much things to say
They've got, heh, so much things to say right now
They've got so, so much things to say
But let them keep talking, oh let them keep talking
'cause non of them walking, oh non of them walking, no
And while they still talking, see I'ma be walking
I'ma be walking, so let them keep talking
Said I never forget no way, how they crucified Jesus Christ
And I, I'll never forget, how they sold Marcus Garvey for rice
Said I, never forget, how they turned their backs on Paul Bogle
So non of you, non of you forget...
Who you are, and where you stand in the struggle
'cause when this rain, 'cause when this rain, rain, rain, rain, rain falls
It don't fall on one man's house, I'm telling you the rain...
I'm telling you the rain, rain, rain, rain, rain don't fall
It don't fall... they...
They've got, they've got, so many very things to say about me
I'm telling you: lie
They, and they, and they will have so many things
They'll have so many things to say about you... to say about you
'cause they don't know me, know me
They don't know me, oh they don't know me, oh they don't know me
Oh they don't know me well
They, they, they, they, they, they, they don't know my Father
'cause if they did, if they did... hey ey... theeey... heh..


-Lauryn Hill's "They've Got So Much Things to Say"

Lauryn said it better than I ever could.

I'm learning to win...I'm learning each rung of the ladder of success so that I may pull others with me...to quote Jay-Z, "If you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack/Maybe you'll love me when I fade to black..."

That's exactly what I'm doing to some people. I can no longer afford ANY negativity in my life. The Bible often speaks of being pruned...well...I'm being chastened and pruned at the same time....Now THAT'S an experience for ya! I'll be sure to keep you posted on how that goes.

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"I'm just a soul
Who's intentions are good
Oh Lord, Please don't let me be misunderstood...

-Nina Simone's "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood"

Ok...Long, before Kanye sampled this for Common and (someone insert producer name here) sampled it for Wayne's diatribe about the American Gov't, Sex Offenders, and Al Sharpton (of all people...)

This was one of my favorite songs...

I pray that I'm not misunderstood in my actions by some close to me. I know I've hurt some people, and for that I deeply apologize. Anyone that knows me, knows that I'm always well intentioned when it comes to my actions and decision making. Sometimes, things don't work out that way and between my...weirdness, complicated way of viewing life, and the random everyday stuff that happens to me, I can get sidetracked and shift priorities...

So, for any of the people that I care about that I've hurt....I'm truly sorry and will try my HARDEST to atone for my actions.

If you have to ask yourself whether I care about you....well....you may wanna just ask me...mmmkay?

Don't speculate before you informate....yeah, like Weezy F. Baby said. BTW, is "informate" a word? I should've "spec'd" before I checked? OR is it the other way around...Ok...yeah.

Feel free to comment. I'm sure some of you have VERY interesting things to say right now....


BTW, Go pick up Foreign Exchange's "Leave it All Behind" That's some DAMN GOOD MUSIC!